To make friends at work, move one easy work connection into time you both choose: a lunch away from your desks, a walk, a coffee after a shift. Sitting near each other isn’t enough on its own. If you work remotely, use the days or channels where people already gather, and suggest one call or meetup that isn’t about work.
Key takeaways
- Coworkers become friends when you spend time together that isn’t required: lunch, a walk, a plan after work.
- On a remote team, start in the places people already chat, then move one conversation to a call or a meetup.
- Keep it light at first. Work friendships carry a little more risk, since you’ll see each other on Monday either way.
Written byAditi Bajpai, M.A. Clinical Psychology · Coach at Ventoutt·Published Oct 25, 2026 · Updated Oct 25, 2026·Editorial policy
In this article: Why work friends stay at work · From coworker to friend · A first job · Hybrid and remote · Shifts · Questions
Why don’t coworkers become real friends more easily?
Because the time you spend together is chosen for you. One study of adults who’d recently moved found that hours together at work went with less closeness, while choosing to hang out went with more; the new-city guide explains what that study found, and its limits. Add a manager in the room, a deadline, and everyone heading home at the end of the day, and it’s easy to stay friendly without ever becoming friends. Work friends are one source. For building a social life beyond work, start with the main loneliness guide.
How do you turn a coworker into a friend?
- Notice who you already like talking to. The person you end up chatting with at the coffee machine is your starting point.
- Suggest one thing away from your desks. “I’m grabbing lunch at the taco place, want to come?”
- Talk about something that isn’t work for part of it: their weekend, the show they mentioned, where they grew up.
- Do it again within a couple of weeks, and then try something outside work hours.
Keep complaints about work out of the early conversations. Bonding over a bad manager is fast, but it gives the friendship nothing to stand on once the manager is gone.
How do you make friends at your first job?
- Go to the team things early on, even when you’re tired: the welcome lunch, the after-work drinks you can leave after one.
- Find the other new people. Others who started this year may be looking for someone too.
- Join the optional things: an employee resource group, a volunteer day, a company sports team.
- If everyone around you is older or settled, a work friend doesn’t have to be your age. Friends your age can come from outside work.
If the job itself is the hard part, new job anxiety covers your first weeks, and the guide to work stress covers the rest.
How do you make friends when you work remotely?
- Hybrid: plan your office days around people, not just meetings. Book a lunch on the days your team is in.
- Remote: be present where people already chat — the non-work channels, the optional coffee calls — and reply to the small stuff, not only the work.
- Move one conversation off the work tools: a call that isn’t on an agenda, or a meetup if you live near each other.
- Look for local coworkers: some companies have people in your city who’d also like an in-person lunch.
Remote work friends are real friends, and they don’t have to be your only friends. Keep one weekly thing outside work as well.
How do you make friends with coworkers when you work shifts?
Shift work comes with its own built-in group: the people on your rotation. Use the time you already share — the break room, the slow hour, the walk to the parking lot — and suggest something right after a shift, when everyone’s free at the same odd hour. For keeping friends outside work when your hours have changed, see the guide to keeping friendships going.
What if work is where it’s hardest to be around people?
If your mood is low most days and sleep, classes or work are slipping, start with when loneliness feels like more than loneliness. If a partner decides who you can see or talk to, read relationship problem or controlling behavior?. If you’re thinking about ending your life, or you’re in danger now, use the crisis options below.
If you need help now
If you are in the US and having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, or need crisis support, call or text 988 or use 988 online chat. For an immediate life-threatening emergency, call 911. Outside the US, contact your local emergency or crisis service. Coaching, venting and a therapy waitlist are not emergency services.
See suicide prevention helplines for your countryWhere can a coach help with friends at work?
- Decide which coworker to invite first, and what to suggest.
- Plan office days, or remote channels, around people.
- Keep work friendships from turning into work complaints.
…and plenty that does not fit a category. If it is taking up your week, it is worth a conversation.
Looking for a coach who gets work life?
Ventoutt assigns your first coach; if the fit isn’t right, you can change coach from the available options. Want to know how you’d tell if it’s a good match? Read what a good coach match looks like.
Sparshika Khobragade
Mental Wellness Coach
USA Stress Support Experience
Qualifications: M.Sc. in Clinical Psychology
Specializes in: CBT, mindfulness-based coaching, body image concerns, relationship issues, career transitions, stress management, and personal growth
Best for: Individuals dealing with stress, life transitions, and those seeking a supportive, structured yet empathetic coaching approach
Global Exposure: Experience working with clients from the USA
Aditi Bajpai
Mental Wellness Coach
Burnout Support for USA Clients
Qualifications: M.A. in Clinical Psychology
Specializes in: CBT, Mindfulness, ACT, SFBT, Psychodynamic; stress, burnout, overthinking, relationships, life transitions
Best for: Overthinkers, professionals facing burnout, and those seeking deeper self-understanding
Global Exposure: Experience working with clients from the USA
Pulkita Wadhwa
Mental Wellness Coach
USA Fellowship-Trained Support
Qualifications: Master’s in Psychology; Bachelor’s (Hons.) in Psychology; Psychoanalytic Fellowship – Washington-Baltimore, USA; Diplomas (NIMHANS & Child/Family Counselling)
Specializes in: Psychoanalytic, CBT, DBT; Stress, relationships, career, family dynamics
Best for: In-depth coaching, complex emotional patterns, and long-term personal transformation
Global Exposure: Advanced clinical training and academic exposure through her fellowship in the USA
Would coaching help with friends at work?
This is doable alone. Where a coach comes in: a new job, a new city or a remote role, and the weeks going by. Ventoutt’s coaches are MA/PhD psychology professionals, minimum three years’ experience, based in India; sessions fit around US workdays.
$35 single session with no subscription — 45–60 minutes, by chat or video. First 50 coaching texts free for eligible new users.
Any more questions about work friends?
Is it okay to be friends with your manager?
Friendly, yes. Close friends is harder, because one of you has a say over the other’s job. It’s fine to keep it warm and a little more careful until one of you moves on.
What if I don’t want friends at work?
That’s fine. A good working relationship is enough. Make sure the friends you want are somewhere else, though, so work isn’t your only social contact by default.
How do you make friends working from home?
Treat your week like it needs people in it: a coworking day, one non-work call with a colleague, and one weekly thing in person.
Aditi Bajpai
Mental wellness coach at Ventoutt
Qualification: M.A. Clinical Psychology, India
Dedicated to bringing you authentic and helpful mental health content.
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