No quiz can tell you whether your relationship is worth saving. Answer three questions instead: what would have to change, what each of you has already tried, and whether you'd want the relationship if that change held. If you're frightened of your partner, these questions can wait: go to the section on fear and threats.
Key takeaways
Written bySakshi Thakar, M.Sc. Clinical Psychology · Relationship coach at Ventoutt·Reviewed byAnshika Jain, PhD scholar, M.A. Clinical Psychology·Published Oct 13, 2026 · Updated Oct 14, 2026·Editorial policy
A quiz gives you a score built from someone else's list. It can't know what the two of you want, what you've already tried or what you could live with. Three questions ask for exactly that:
What would have to change?
One or two things, specific enough that you'd both know if they happened — “we can talk about next year without one of us changing the subject,” not “more commitment.”
Whether there's a named problem to work on, or a general unease you can't put words to yet.
What has each of you tried?
What you've said or done about it, in plain words, and what happened next. Hints and hoping don't count.
Whether the problem has had a real chance to change. If neither of you has asked plainly, the question hasn't been tested yet.
Would you want it, if it changed?
Picture the change made and still holding this time next year. Would you want this relationship then — yes, no or not sure?
Whether the problem you named is what's deciding this. A “no” tells you something that no amount of change would.
Pick an ordinary day to answer them — not the week of a big fight, and not the week of a great trip. Then read the three answers side by side.
If you're afraid of what your partner would do when you raise this, or if you end it, the table below isn't for today: go to the section on fear and threats.
You can name the change, and neither of you has asked for it plainly
Ask — one specific request, at a time you'd both choose. What happens next is new information.
You asked, and things have begun to shift
Staying to see where it goes is a real decision. Put a date on your next pass through the three questions.
You've asked plainly, more than once, and nothing has moved
That is information, not a ruling. Decide how long you're willing to keep asking, and look at which kind of help fits.
You wouldn't want the relationship even if the change came
Then the problem you named isn't what's keeping you unsure. Sit with that answer first. Whether, when and how to tell your partner is its own decision; if you're afraid of what they would do, go to the section on fear and threats.
You're not sure what you want
That's an answer too. Set a date to go through the three questions again, and note what shifts in between.
You can't name what would have to change
Start by working out which kind of problem it is: the six areas where relationships get stuck.
If what you named is feeling alone in the relationship, read why you can feel lonely when you're together, and what to try. And if you've decided to end it, the breakup recovery guide covers what comes after.
A lease that renews next month, a move one of you has to commit to, graduation in May: dates like these can make the decision before you do. One step below involves your partner — if that step would frighten you, skip this list and go to the section on fear and threats.
To keep the calendar from deciding for you:
Find the real deadline. The day the landlord or the school needs an answer may not be the day you have to decide about the two of you. Ask how much room there is.
Count back from the date. Mark the day by which you'd want your three answers.
Say the question out loud. “Can we talk about us before the renewal date?” is a fair thing to ask.
Answer the three questions first. Renewing because it's easier than talking, or moving out to avoid the talk, is the calendar deciding.
You can know something and not be ready to act on it. If you've suspected for a while that this isn't right, something may be holding the decision in place:
None of these is a reason to stay, and none is a reason to leave. Each is a reason the decision feels heavy. Name which one is yours, then give the question a date a few weeks out and go through the three questions again; anything urgent — your health, money, housing, school or work — gets dealt with when it comes up, not on that date. Not deciding is also a choice — it's fine to make it on purpose for a while, with a date attached.
If what's holding you is fear of your partner's reaction, that's different: go to the section on fear and threats.
If you both want to try, read how to work on relationship problems without breaking up. If the doubt itself is the question, see whether it's normal to have doubts about your relationship. And if what you want is time apart, not an ending, see taking a break in a relationship.
If you're frightened of what your partner would do if you raised your doubts or tried to leave — or you've been told what will happen if you go — this guide's questions can wait. Read how to tell a relationship problem from controlling behavior first.
If you need help now
If you are in the US and having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, or need crisis support, call or text 988 or use 988 online chat. For an immediate life-threatening emergency, call 911. Outside the US, contact your local emergency or crisis service. Coaching, venting and a therapy waitlist are not emergency services.
See suicide prevention helplines for your countryA coach won't make this call for you — here's what a coach should and shouldn't do. What a coach can do is help with the parts around the decision:
Being heard while you say the doubt out loud for the first time, with no one taking a side.
Going through the three questions with someone who has no stake in your answer.
Planning how to tell your partner “I'm not sure this is working,” if you decide to.
Thinking a deadline through — a lease, a move, graduation — so the date doesn't decide for you.
Setting a point to look at the question again, and what would count as movement by then.
This is only part of what relationship coaching covers.
Coaching does not diagnose or treat. If you need clinical care, we will help you find it.
If the decision feels bigger than everyday coaching, read how emotional support differs from clinical treatment and how a coach and a therapist can work side by side.
Each coach below lists relationships among their focus areas. Ventoutt assigns your first coach; if the fit isn't right, you can change coach from the available options.
Mental Wellness Coach
Mental wellness coach
Qualifications: M.Sc. in Clinical Psychology (Neuropsychology); Master’s in Counseling & Behavior Modification
Specializes in: Stress, relationships, LGBTQ+ matters, body image concerns
Best for: Deep emotional issues, and clients looking for a structured approach
Mental Wellness Coach
Identity-Affirming Support
Qualifications: B.A. in Psychology; M.Sc. in Clinical Psychology
Specializes in: Trauma-informed care, queer-affirmative, stress, burnout, identity & attachment issues
Best for: Individuals exploring identity, queer concerns, and healing from emotional or relational challenges
Global Exposure: Professional experience working with a USA-based corporate environment
Mental Wellness Coach
USA Fellowship-Trained Support
Qualifications: Master’s in Psychology; Bachelor’s (Hons.) in Psychology; Psychoanalytic Fellowship – Washington-Baltimore, USA; Diplomas (NIMHANS & Child/Family Counselling)
Specializes in: Psychoanalytic, CBT, DBT; Stress, relationships, career, family dynamics
Best for: In-depth coaching, complex emotional patterns, and long-term personal transformation
Global Exposure: Advanced clinical training and academic exposure through her fellowship in the USA
Every coach is screened before working with clients — here's how Ventoutt screens professionals, and what qualifications to look for in a mental wellness coach.
Matching targeted within 24 hours. Ventoutt assigns your first coach; if the fit isn't right, you can change coach from the available options. Changing coach is free. See how matching works and when changing coach makes sense.
People share their own experiences of finding support with Ventoutt.
“I was tired of people acting like I needed a yes-or-no answer about my relationship right away. I wanted to look at what was working, what wasn't, and what I could actually control before making a decision.”
“I kept wishing there was some checklist that would tell me to stay or go. Looking at what had actually changed, versus what I was just hoping would change, was harder but a lot more useful.”
“My friends meant well, but everyone had an opinion about what I should do. I needed a way to hear myself think without turning my relationship into a group vote.”
Video experiences — general Ventoutt experiences
Duration: 0:45
Duration: 2:20
To protect user privacy, some testimonial images are illustrative and some names have been changed.
The people close to you may already have a view on your partner. A coach has no stake in whether you stay; the job is helping you hear your own answers. That's part of Ventoutt's mental wellness coaching for everyday issues. Sessions are one-to-one: one person per session.
Ventoutt's coaches are MA/PhD psychology professionals, minimum three years' experience, based in India.
$35 single session with no subscription. First 50 coaching texts free for eligible new users. See everything coaching includes.
The 5-Day Relationship Reset doesn't ask you to decide anything. It's four tasks, a day apart, for getting clearer about what's wrong, then an email describing your options for help. Up to three shorter notes about coaching follow, then it stops.
No relationship details required — just your email.
No list of signs fits every couple, and this guide doesn't use one. It uses three questions you answer yourself: what would have to change, what each of you has tried, and whether you'd want the relationship if it changed. Then see what to do with your answers.
No guide can rule on that for you. Two situations change the question, though. If you're frightened of your partner, the three questions aren't built for that — read the section on fear and threats. And if you wouldn't want the relationship even with the change you've asked for, sit with that answer before anything else.
A lease or a move puts a date on the decision; it doesn't make it for you. Find out how much time there really is, then answer the three questions with that date in view.
Yes. The three questions are private — answer them on your own, in your own time. This guide sets no day for a conversation; whether and when to have one is yours to choose.